CALLER: Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
GOOGLE: No
sir, it's Google Pizza!
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last
12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses,
sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza
with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten
free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How the hell do you know?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number
with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last
7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable
pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your
medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30
cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according
to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless
you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?
GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only
with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook,
Twitter, Whats App and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet,
cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on
me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your
passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…
You can laugh at this now. But is this that
far from happening?????
The way I see it anyway!
No comments:
Post a Comment