**
I'm passing this on because it worked for me today. A Dr. on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of
Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminunpsrcriptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now.
Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminunpsrcriptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now.
Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two al hve a Marry Crispmouse
**
Q: What is a redneck's last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
**
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these." The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavoured lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time." Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick! Spit'em out! They're assholes!"
**
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighbourhood boys for being stupid. Their favourite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbour takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
**
MARIJUANA and MARRIAGE**
In Canada, our government recently passed two laws.
They are:
1. Legalized gay marriage.
2. Legalized marijuana.
Legalizing gay marriage and marijuana at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense.
Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned.
We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
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